Tuesday, February 25, 2014

If my agent was a dinosaur, and other nonsense... Meet the fabulous Natalie Fischer Lakosil

I ♥ my agent, no doubt about that, but lots of bloggers interview her about the "important stuff": What are you looking for? What's your ideal query letter? Several bloggers have done marvelously informative Q-n-A sessions with Natalie Fischer Lakosil--but there are other ways to get to know a person. As a matter of fact, what better way than one of those BuzzFeed or Zimbio personality quizzes? Having taken a shameful amount of these myself (evidence can be found on my facebook page), I felt inspired to cobble together a set of questions that would reveal a few things about my agent (most of all, that she has an awesome sense of humor).

Curious? Read on (the above link is no longer active) to find out just what kind of dinosaur you'll be dealing with if you send out a query to Natalie...

#1 Which animal appeals to you?
Galloping horse
Strutting chicken
Plucky Squirrel
Bright red cardinal
Busy beaver
Growly bear
Noble elk
Speedy roadrunner
Prickly deer
Beady-eyed duck
Floating manatee
Big brown buffalo

NL: All of them, except for growly bear and speedy roadrunner, because I adore the images invoked from these unique adjectives. How could I POSSIBLY choose between a strutting chicken and a prickly deer?! Growly bear and speedy are sadly just too normal - as is big brown buffalo, but the alliteration alone there got me.

NZ: I really REALLY wanted to lift the pictures from the quizzes, but I thought it was bad enough that I was stealing individual questions (which I *DID* alter and add as needed). I did do my best to describe the animals as they were pictured. Now that I think about it, I could have said "Yawny bear" and maybe "Zippy roadrunner".  Here, however, you can see my stroke of genius (well, I thought it was kinda cool)--I gave Agent Natalie the option to comment where necessary--I mean really, how many times have you taken one of these things and thought, I wouldn't pick ANY of those answers?!

#2 The last thing you hand wrote was a...
Check
Love letter
IOU
Your number
Homework
Threat
Treasure map
Thank you note (three months late)
Graffiti

NL: A Check. Well, that's my answer from these options. Really, the last thing I hand-wrote was notes from an editor phone call. And really, threat was an option?! And why does my thank you note have to be three months late?! 

NZ: All answers for this one were totally lifted word for word from said quiz. For the record, Agent Natalie's timing is impeccable.

#3 Pick a celebrity
Miley Cyrus
Ryan Gosling
Beyonce
Jennifer Lawrence
Rhianna
Benedict Cumberbatch
Abraham Lincoln
Drake
Justin Timberlake

NL: Abraham Lincoln

NZ: Was sorely tempted to include David Tennant.

#4 Worst annoyance
PDA
Slow internet
Bad high five
No more pink starburst
Weird smell
Wet socks
So hungry
Awkward hugs
Cat doesn't like you Out of gas

NL: PDA These were close seconds: Slow internet, Awkward hugs, Cat doesn't like you, and  Out of gas.

#5 You only get to use one social media for the rest of your life--you choose...
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Tumbler
LinkdIn
Snapchat
Tinder
Pinterest
Google+

NL: Facebook, even though I use Twitter way, way more.

#6 Where do you want to travel?
Paris
NYC
Anywhere there's a beach
New Zealand
Reykjavik
The couch
India
Medieval Times!
Medieval times

NL: New Zealand From this list; next on my actual travel wish list would be Turkey and Africa, though...

#7 Which TV show appeals to you most?
American Pickers
The Office
Bonanza
Army Wives
The Drew Carey Show
Parks and Recreation
Hawaii Five-0
Gilmore Girls
Breaking Bad
The Pretender
Community

NL: American Pickers

NZ: Was sorely tempted to include Dr. Who...

#8 Your party anthem:
"Stronger" by Kanye West
"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey
"Fergilicious" by Fergie
"YMCA" by the Village People
"Rock You Like A Hurricane" by the Scorpions
"Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex
"Last Night" by the Strokes
"Honey" by Mariah Carey
"Fell In Love With A Girl" by the White Stripes
"Shots!" by LMFAO
"Drunk In Love" by Beyonce

NL: "Shots!" by LMFAO Well, if it's a PARTY; realistically, I'd be more likely to listen to "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey or "Rock You Like A Hurricane" by the Scorpions

NZ: Dude! My nephew OPENED for the Scorpions! (Shameless plug: Nephew Jesse's Soundcloud)

#9 Pick a Mario Kart driver
Mario
Luigi
Yoshi
Wario
Peach
Bowser
Donkey Kong
Toad
Koopa Troopa
Birdo

NL: Peach N64, baby!

#10 Choose your weapon
Battle ax
Throwing Star
Spear
The pen is mightier than the sword
Knife
Mace
Nun-chucks
My fists
Grenades 
A sword or two, please

NL: Knife That scene, from V FOR VENDETTA, where he says, "My turn" and starts throwing the knives? Hell yeah that'd be me.

The results?

Natalie should really live in New York.
If Natalie was a font, she would be Gabriola (size 18, because it's tiny).
If Natalie was a snack food she would be delicious and addictive and totally bad for you but you don't care.
If Natalie was a dinosaur, she would be a Brontosaurus.



:) For the more serious stuff, visit Natalie's page on the Bradford Literary Agency site for all the important deets on subs and queries and her blog, Adventures in Agentland for the latest info. 

And if, by chance, you want to take the various quizzes from which I stole these questions...

What dinosaur are you?
What font are you?
Which state do you actually belong in?
What food matches your personality?

and my personal favorite... Which poorly taxidermied animal are you?

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